Going Back to Work | Finding the Balance

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Thursday.  SO good to see you again.  After what seemed like a million cups of coffee.. 400 hours in the car and too many minutes away from my baby girl, I made it through my second week back at work. It is so much harder than I ever though possible to leave those sweet smiling gums everyday. 
I know I am not the first mother to leave her baby, and as I am sitting at the end of this week, I realized that it went by so quickly and it wasn't that bad. 
Don't get me wrong it was enjoyable and I miss her like crazy every day! 
I was able to be home with Charlee ten weeks straight.  Ten weeks of growth as a mother of my sweet girl.  
Ten weeks to spend nurturing my daughter during all wake hours of the day and lets be honest night too. Ten weeks that were so amazing but at the same time the hardest job I have ever done in my life.
E V E R.
I eased back into my working-mom-life slowly. I sent Charlee off to daycare the week before I went back full time for half days. I wanted to make sure that both her and I could make the transition and I wanted it to be easier 
for the both of us. I knew it was going to be hard to leave her that week I just wasn't aware that it would be as hard as it was. 
The Sunday before my first day back I grocery shopped, snuggled with her, and packed up everything for our crazy morning ahead. I knew it would be hard to get up, get myself ready, her up and dressed, then feed her.
Then off we went.....
I dropped Charlee off and said goodbye with tears in my eyes.
 My first day back to work was a whirlwind.  Back to back meetings and never ending phone calls.. and before I knew it It was time for me to load up to come home.
The next few days were tougher than the first.  I was busy playing catch-up, but just wanted to be home with my babe. It was just something that we would have to both get use too. 
Now it is a routine that we just do everyday. It's still not any easier.  I just know that I will miss a million cute things that she will do throughout the day but it comforts me to know
 that she still does a million cute things at home.
These last couple weeks have been overly-busy.  The weeks are flooding in, rolling by, and my days are running together with appointments, phone calls, text messages, work, meetings, and then to come home at the end of the day and play momma to my little precious bird.  That's just for the weeknights.  Leave it to the weekends to cram every breathing moment with 'something' to do.  Costco, date nights, social events, parties, playdates.. we sleep in there somewhere. I'm not really sure where.
This has been a balance I've had to learn as I go.  I struggle.  Some days I'm TERRIBLE at managing it.  I come home stressed out, tired, and unmotivated to do anything but unplug.  And then I realize what I am actually unplugging from. 
Still the biggest problem for me is sleeping and making sure that I am getting enough to not be that girl who fells asleep at her desk while working. I working on getting Charlee to sleep through the night and some days are way better than others. We are a work in progress.....
Balance is the key to a lot and we just have to find our perfect balance.

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